Cocky

I came across this clip of Julia Serano performing a spoken word piece on how her penis threatens to undo gender.  It’s pretty good, even if I found her performance style to be rather annoying.

I read her book Whipping Girl a little while back.  If you’re interested in a book on transgender issues and representation it seems pretty good.  It’s not simple by any means, but it is aimed at people who don’t know too much about gender variance.

Post-Transgender Day Of Remembrance

So for those that didn’t know, Friday was Toronto’s Trans Day Of Remembrance, the day where us transfolk anually get together to mark the passing of some of our own.  it usually happens on the 20th, but a scheduling problem at Buddies In Bad Times, the venue where it was held, happened and it was pushed back.

The event itself was pretty good.  Some short stories and poems were read, some really good speeches were made, two lip-synched drag queen songs were performed and a nonsensical rant was mumbled.  All followed by a reading of the names and a candlelight vigil in their honour.

But what did it mean to me?

Well, I think remembering a death is important and we should have these things be brought to our attention more often, but I’ve always been put off by things like TDOR.  it seemed too much of a “community” thing to me and I never really liked specific days where I was obligated to feel sad about someone I’ve never even met and take part in a candlelight vigil on there behalf.  I wouldn’t be in to it and although I’d take note to remember the deaths, I can’t say my heart would be in it.

But all of that changed on Friday.  I met up with some friends and we went to the balcony and had our own fun little time, joking around and doing commentary on the performances (for those that went, you know what point in the night I’m talking about when I say that my entire group had asked “What the hell is she talking about?”).  We sombered up for the names and the candlelight vigil (Although while outside my legs were freezing due to the weather and the dress I was wearing so I put some pants on in the middle of the crowd amidst the chuckles of my friends).  We lit the candles, gave our moment of silence and then it was over and people started breaking off.  We met up with a couple of other familiar people and we all decided to get something to eat at Fran’s (a lovely diner on Yonge/College that has been made the unofficial trans hangout for transfolk that don’t want to go to Goodhandy’s).  There we talked about the night, our weeks and just what’s generally going on in our lives.

And it was then that I realized what TDOR really means to me.  Here we were, a group of transfolk, sitting in a diner chatting about whatever the hell came to our mind with barely a care in the world.  With no fear as to what anyone in the place thought of us.

If you were like me, you were bullied a lot as a child and you got to know the mentality of bullies.  If a bully hits one kid, the entire class backs away so’s not to get hit.  It’s a survival instinct.  Well, here’s us, reading about different kinds of bullies who have killed someone just because of who they are.  A lot of us could have backed down and stopped persuing transition.  Maybe a few did.  But the fact remains that most of us didn’t.  We’re still here doing our own thing and there’s not a damn thing those people can do about it.  We’re not standing together as one (because that would be cliche and impossible), but we are standing up for ourselves and living our lives how we want.

So I’m going to be going to the TDOR events every year from now on.  I will be saddened by the deaths and, with my friends at my side, mark the day as a yearly reminder that we aren’t about to let that crap interfere in our lives.

P.S. don’t forget to send me some music!  My birthday is coming up on Thursday and I want to hear more personal queer anthems!  three more and I can make another post about it!